Monday, January 25, 2010

I Only Want YOU...

Today John David began a re-evaluation process that will be completed at the end of two more 3 to 4 hour sessions. We desired to have this done - not because we doubt his diagnosis of high-functioning autism (Aspergers by name) nor do we want someone to tell us "he doesn't have it" - but so that we might have an accurate, updated evaluation. John David was 17 months old when he was first evaluated and diagnosed with autism. Though he still has some areas of weakness and some differences, he has come so far since then! We praise our Lord daily for this work of grace in his little life! And, although just as precious, he is not the same little boy that he was then.

Currently, John David is eligible to receive services through the Early Intervention services funded by the state (greatly lacking in funds, I might add). However, he will be 3 years old in May - which is so hard to believe - and at that point he will be "handed over to the school system"...whatever that means. Thankfully we still have several months to ask questions and figure out the next step. But when he is "handed over", we also want to have updated information to place in the hands of .... whomever.

David and I were a little saddened though, after the first stages of the evaluation today. Not that John David didn't do well, but that as we talked with the professionals present, it was brought to light areas in John David's life that are still not, more or less, "typical." You see at home - in his comfort zone - John David is just that...comfortable. And to us, he is just John David. Our normal, typical John David. But today, we were reminded that many of the things that we know our normal, typical John David to do, don't exactly match up to everything that characterizes a definitively "normal" or "typical" child. So after several hours of the evaluation that were a bit draining for all of us, we left the clinic - like I said - a little sad. We were all tired, and were grateful that by the time we got home, baby Claire (who had been staying with my mom for the morning) was also ready for a nap. After much needed rest - and a few tears - a new perspective came over me; a perspective given by our Father, who is kind and wise in all of His ways, and whose grace is sufficient to meet us and sustain us in every circumstance. John David woke up refreshed and joyful after his nap, and excited about what the rest of the day would hold. He seemed as delightful and pleasant as ever, and made me wonder why I would be in the least bit disheartened regarding my precious child. The Lord reminded me to give thanks in EVERYTHING, for it is His will that I do this (1 Thessalonians 5:18). And there's no wonder why, for it cures the discouraged heart almost instantly. It is a healing balm, no doubt.

In the midst of the Lord encouraging my heart, these words came to my mind regarding my dear son. I want others to know that I wouldn't trade my John David for the world!

It's YOU I Want

You may not be just like the others;
That's okay,
It's YOU I want.

For you have a way that's all your own;
I'm so glad,
It's YOU I want.

To observe you uniquely learn and play,
Reminds me daily
It's YOU I want.

And to watch you do things only you would do...
So endearing, my child;
Yes, it's YOU I want.

It may mean the same things over again;
But that's no bother,
It's YOU I want.

You may need extra help here or there;
I don't mind,
For it's YOU I want.

And things may take longer every once in a while;
I'm not going anywhere,
It's YOU I want.

Sometimes you'd rather not say a word;
You don't have to, my child,
It's YOU I want.

And there are times you would rather just whisper;
I listen closely,
For it's YOU I want.

But to hear you tell me the things you do,
Only proves to my heart
That it's YOU I want.

I am writing this now so that you'll never doubt
That it's YOU I want,
Oh, I only want YOU!


teresa pugh said...

Oh what overwhelming love Big Daddy and I have for our precious John David. He brings us delight and so much joy. We totally agree... What a privilege. I would be so sad if he belonged to anyone but us. We couldn't love him more.

The Rigoloso's said...

what beautiful words for your sweet boy! I am so thankful he has YOU for a mama! Praying the Lord's peace over you today.
love to you,

Karen said...

I just clicked over from your link on FB and what precious words. What a blessing that God has given John David (or Yon David as Elizabeth says!) to have you as parents.

Susan Pugh said...

Hey sweet Katie. What precious words from precious parents to a precious son. And who defines "normal" and "typical" anyway? I think he's perfect and adorable, and "normal" ones like us can learn volumes from him. Love to all of you

Melanie Campbell said...

It is such a joy for me to know John David! He is truly unique and I'm glad God entrusted him to such loving & nurturing parents! :)

carolynj said...

What a sweet picture! You are the perfect mommy for John David and Claire. :)

Lynn Pugh said...

What a beautiful boy! And aren't we glad God wants US, broken as we are? There are so many wonderful lessons to learn as parents. When I am filled with overwhelming love for my children, I remember that, "If we being evil give what is good to our children, how much more will our heavenly Father give?" We love John David, too, and I know Ella wouldn't change a thing! He is her "best friend in the whole wide world!" (along with all the Kizziah's, her parents and grandparents.)

David and Katie Kizziah said...

Thank you to you all for your precious words of love and encouragement. How grateful we are to have friends and family to walk through this journey of life with . . . what a blessing! Love to you all.

Anonymous said...

Tears came to my eyes when Lynn described your post and poem to me. Tears again came to my eyes when I read it myself. Your words are a testament to the goodness and wisdom of God. I love you so much, Katie, and regret that I am poor at showing it.


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David and Katie Kizziah said...

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